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Well now I think I’ve heard it all!

The entire planet can breathe a sigh of collective relief now that we know that none other than Jacob Zuma, the South African president is keeping chips until Jesus’ second coming.

Well thank God for that hey! Capable and hands springs to mind.

I understand that a lot of electioneering is done to a generally uneducated mass of people, but this is just too much.

The Times reports on a dear Presidents latest election (for the next election no doubt) promise:

Zuma, who was addressing thousands of supporters in Witbank, Mpumalanga, yesterday, said: ‘‘The ANC will rule until the Son of Man comes. He must come back while we are still in power.” The ANC president was roundly criticised by religious leaders shortly before the elections when he invoked the name of Jesus to illustrate the ruling party’s hold on power.

More here.

Now seeing as he is in charge of the ANC, that must make him a JC proxy right? With these utterings, he is either telling us that Jesus MUST come back before the next election, or that the last election we had was the last one we will have. That’ll sit quite nicely with the Mayan Calander hicks proposing an end to the world (or a second coming) by 2012.

Hang on maybe JZ was watching the same documentary I watched this last week on this topic?

Very very smart there, love the way he is covering his bases, just in case, for example, the world ends in 2012.

I was particularly interested in their claim that in 2012, there will be some sort of a galactic alignment, the first for 26 000 years, now that’s all cool and shit, but using that supposition, then EVERY moment last happened 26 000 years ago (working on that timeline)

Just like THIS moment.

…and THIS one.

But getting back to the man of the moment, JZ. I mean how can anyone makes such absurb promises and be taken seriously? Worse still is he taking himself seriously?

News24 reports that Zuma’s clan are gonna get in on the celebration of todays events by slaughtering 6 cows!

Don't pick me noooo not me!!

The report read:

Relatives of president elect Jacob Zuma, huddled against the cold at the Union Buildings on Saturday, said they would slaughter six cows in celebration of his inauguration.

“He was a football of the country for some time, but we knew from the beginning that he wasn’t wrong,” said Zuma’s sister-in-law, Rose Zuma,

Rose, wife of Zuma’s younger brother Mike, travelled to Pretoria by car from KwaMashu in KwaZulu-Natal on Friday to attend the long-awaited event.

Although rain dampened proceedings somewhat [read more here], apparently JZ put on a good show, sans dancing, and delivered a good speech. Good on you JZ.

It seems Zuma just can’t get away from showers.  This time though I’m talking REAL rain. There’s been a lot of talk about the amount of money JZ and crew have spent after winning the election, maybe some of it went to umbrellas?

Watered Down

Here’s a report from News24 via Zuma gets rainy welcome : Elections: News: News24.

Johannesburg – The heavens opened over the Union Buildings in Pretoria ahead of Jacob Zuma’s inauguration on Saturday morning.

Guests huddled under umbrellas provided as thunder rumbled overhead.

Officials scrambled to remove programmes and blankets as the thousands of people let out a huge cheer and whistles as the rain poured harder.

Snipers on the roof pulled their hoods over the eyes as journalists sheltering under the balcony laughed that for the first time ever they had the best seats.

After a few minutes guests began heading for the cover of the inner buildings.

The main seat on the presidential podium were protected by an awning.

On the public lawns people were hiding under trees and trying to take shelter in portable loos, commenting that the rain was a good omen.

Children ignored the rain and played in the mud, while new friendships were struck as strangers shared umbrellas.

There’s something kinda cool about this report. The fact children were playing and people were making new mates etc kinda gives you a kodak moment doesn’t it?

All JZ needed was some Zuma Shower Gel, the heavens supplied the rest.