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Oh my goodness get out my best suit Bar Rafaeli is back on the block.

Geezus where were my advance warnings systems? Why am I only hearing about his NOW? How much valuable time have I lost?

Damn in triplicate!

There is something about this girl that is just beyond comparison. People often ask me why I’m single and it’s pretty obvious really. How can I settle with just one person when Bar Rafaeli is unmarried?

I’m still in with a chance.

Yes, she must be waiting for me.

Well its with great pride and joy that I announce that her and Leonardo Dicaprio (until now my absolute hero, now my absolute forever ever hero) have announced they are taking some time out. See I knew she would come around. It’s the article I wrote about her here that did it. Or maybe it’s the more humane side I showed here. Either way I can’t be totally sure that she reads my blog, rubbing shoulders with Jackie Collins and Ringo Starr (ok not Ringo but still) but I can certainly tell you that as long as she is professionally showing off her body, I’ll unprofessionally be talking about it.

Case in point.

Leo you screwed up this time buddy

Now the thing I love about my future girlfriend here, is how she seems to have these amazing powers over things around her. It’s a totally new thing, I call it ‘Raising the Bar’. If you hear anyone copying my saying you know what it really means. It’s about me and Bar Rafaeli and our future together, under the Sun, with her wet… you know the drill.

Check how she makes the Sun look so good, yes THE SUN!!

Thought you might enjoy that

Now not one to be content with just still life snapshots, I dug out this video for your pure office enjoment. CAUTION though, not to be watched with other work mates, they may stare aghast at your animal like gape.

Keep it under control.

This video is hardcore to the max. I have to warn you that if you suffer from a weak heart then grab those pills, strap yourself in, make sure youre ALONE in the room and enjoy. Preferably slackjawed.

There’s a half dimple of venus shot at 15 seconds, a total money shot at 34 seconds and pure debauchery at 1.16 seconds.

This shit should be illegal man.

It begs the obvious question, has Leonardo DiCaprio lost the plot? All this because she apparently wanted to move in with him. You silly silly man.

The end of an era.

Millvina Dean, the last survivor of the Titanic disaster, has died.

It’s always a sad moment when the last person who was in or at a significant event passes away. Now the event is assigned to the annuls of history. No longer can we actually talk to someone who was there.

Not that she could remember much mind you, she was only two months old at the time.

She died at a nursing home near Southampton, England, the port where she and her family boarded the ship on its only voyage.

She lost her father in the tragedy.

Ironically, she died on the 98th anniversary of the launching of the Titanic on May 31, 1911.

She was recently in the news when James Cameron, the Director of the Titanic Blockbuster donated 30,000 dollars to her along with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, to help pay her nursing home fees.

I’m starting to like Leonardo DiCaprio (he of Bar Rafaeli fame, whom I referenced in this Susan Boyle post here and this Lohan post here) more and more. Not just cos he is tapping Bar Rafaeli mind you, but the lucky bastard is also involved in funding, producing and narrating The 11th Hour, which was put on by DiCaprio and crew.

Well you’ll be happy to know you can actually get involved. You can visit http://11thhouraction.com/ and sign up and necome an activist.

I’m already involved in this kind of thing and it warms my heart to see the big names involved behind this venture. Incidentally I wrote a piece about Rocking the Daisies, my favourite Carbon Neutral Eco Friendlyish music festival.

Oh and Coldplay playing over the exit credits, love it.

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