Socialyz.com

I’ve written a lot about KFC on this website for a number of reasons. Firstly, I think it’s a bit of a slap in the face that they seem to have no space for Africa in their world vision. Secondly, and talking about space again, KFC seems to think that people in space are a better market to target.

Well something else has come along that’s similar to their efforts to get adults to wipe their hands on childrens heads, like I wrote about here. (more…)

Thank fuck I live in Africa, a place KFC knows nothing about.

Out here on the frontier we can say what we feel, and I feel that it’s bullshit that that we have to be subjected to the claims they spout out of their arse about their logo that is visible from space being the first of it’s kind. This while they still dont acknowledge an entire continent.

Yip you read that bit correctly.

Not only do they not really believe Africa exists as I posted about here [and here and most especially here], they find it neccessary to create a logo that is visible from space. This completely defeats any kind of object for me, seeing as a) we have yet to find any sort of chicken eating life from above, and b) astronauts being on strict diets which almost certainly precludes any form of deep fat fried chicken.

They consider it necessary to spend fuck knows how much money erecting a sign consisting of 65,000 1-foot-square tiles laid out in the Mojave desert. Now this is really cool and all of that, but how about spending a shit load less money and put a link to Africa on your crappy shite music enabled website?

To refresh your memory here it is…

Where the fuck is Africa?

Yes my darling little chicken peeps, when you go to KFC.com and select their ‘Global operations’ option hidden waaaaaaay down on the bottom somewhere, this is what you see. Maybe this has something to do with Americans absolutely shocking knowledge of our planet. Fuck maybe they were advertising at African’s when they built this… we all know how little they know about where Africa is, maybe they think we can see shit from space.

Getting a head in the Mojave Desert

Complete and utter fucken waste of time and money

Now you can go through to KFC.com and see exactly what I mean, if you can get past the godawful music that only some redneck in the USA musta ‘thunk up’. You’ll have to look for the KFC global link at the bottom, whilst being driven mad by the awful soundtrack. Luckily you can turn the shit off, like I did as you can see from the screengrabs below. You also have to navigate past the keepers of the gate into kitsch…

I wouldn't do that, your'e starting to look like a bunch of tits.

I dare you to follow that link.

Incidentally try do so alone with no work mates or small children in the room. This has to be one of the most disturbing websites I’ve seen in many a year.

In fact that stupid jingle gives me nightmares.

Now the point of this whole story is actually pretty simple. They were in fact NOT the first people to logo the fuck out of some poor desert paradise. That pleasure belongs to Readymix in Australia, mini America if you will. This logo has been visible from ‘up there’ for quite some time. It’s 3.2km across, and 1.6km high – and it’s been there since 1965.

And the point is?

The whole world 1 – KFC 0.

Now I would direct this tirade at someone here in South Africa, however, as mentioned before, they don’t have a website, so I cannot find anyone to direct it to.

My 75 year old mother has a website.

You’re probably aware of my thoughts on KFC.

You’ll know by now that I find it mind blowing that KFC don’t cater for Africa on their International website. I wrote all about it [here and here] and I still think it’s ridiculous. According to KFC, this is what the world looks like…

Theres something not quite right about this hmmmm what could it be?

Weeks later and a new KFC ‘problem’ has raised its ugly head. You see, for some reason, KFC seems to think it’s cool to wipe your hands on a childs head. Now to me this would possibly constitute some form of child abuse, I mean I know I’m not the target demographic for this ad, but seriously, wiping your hands on a kid’s head?

That’s just really not cool.

Here is the advert.

Incidentally a Mr HT Frans saw this advert and instead of saying “Geez they can’t do that to a kid”, he thought the next most obvious thing.

This advert promotes the spread of cholera.

Not the common cold mind you, not even hepatitis.

No, Cholera.

Obviously.

A Kentucky Fried Chicken television ad showing men wiping their greasy fingers on a boy’s head has been cleared of the charge that it could promote the spread of cholera.

In a ruling handed down this week, the Advertising Standards Authority also decided that the wiping was not a form of child abuse.

A Mr HT Frans had complained that the men were transferring their germs to the boy, counter to department of health ads encouraging people to wash their hands to avoid spreading cholera.

“There is no evidence before the directorate that the actions depicted in the commercial could cause cholera infection as alleged by the complainant,” the ASA said.

It said KFC’s attorneys had submitted that it was an African tradition for elders to wipe their hands on the heads of youngsters after a meal in the belief that this would endow the youngsters with future wealth.

The ASA said it was satisfied that the commercial did not contain anything which might result in children being harmed mentally, morally, physically or emotionally.

That’s enough to make me wanna give KFC a miss. Now one thing that disturbs me, is the African tradition of wiping ones hand on a childs head to endow the kid with future wealth.

Umm what?

Thats just sick man. What if youre chowing  a double garlic chessy blue cheese and liver pizza, or some shit like that? The poor kid is gonna walk around smelling like a ball, and you know what kinda ball I’m talking about.

Sounds to me like this tradition was started due to some folks not wanting to get up to go fetch a dishcloth.

By the way in case you were wondering, I would never eat a pizza like that, kids or no kids. I think the kids should maybe resort to wearing CAPSAC (here ya go) that might sort it out. They can have napkins in CAPSAC. That ought to do it.

Now where did I park my car?

Oh here it is…

You should really not do this, you look like a chop