Zuma promised before the local government elections that the disputes over candidates lists would be sorted out.

About 2 000 ANC members from 20 wards marched peacefully to the local municipal offices to hand over a petition to ANC regional leaders under the watchful eye of the police on Monday.

via Protesters remind Zuma of promises: News24: South Africa: News.

At Socialyz we have an enormous amount of articles surrounding JuJu and the ANC. Their election campaign had me vomiting on a daily basis and I couldn’t help but wonder who would actually vote for these idiots.

Their campaign was based on race. Are you black or white or coloured? Are you a boer? Actually yes I am white and my forefathers are boers and I think it’s disgusting that you tar all white people with the same brush. This goes both ways by the way.

We all remember the quotes so who could actually take this guy seriously? Infact, who could take this political party serious? Deborah Patta from 3rd degree asked Julius,”If you fail matric,would you kill yourself?”Julius replied,”Me kill myself, I would rather commit suicide” All white people are thieves. If you don’t vote for the ANC you will go to Hell, and if you don’t vote for the ANC Mandela will die etc etc etc…

I read an article on News24 written by an ANC supporter and I actually pity that person. Yes, the Western Cape isn’t perfect but why don’t you move to Gauteng? I dare you! If in 17 years, YEARS, they couldn’t get their act straight what makes you think they will do it now? 17 Years people!

I moved to the Western Cape 6 months ago and over night I saw a change.When I stepped off the airplane that morning, I was greeted with “Welcome to the REAL South Africa”.

The Western Cape isn’t perfect but it is so much better than any other part of the country simply because the DA know what they are doing. Zille is a former journalist and anti-apartheid activist,and famously exposed the truth behind the death of Black Consciousness leader Steve Biko while working for the Rand Daily Mail in the late 1970s. I bet you Juju and Zuma don’t now that because they are blinded by the race factor.

It’s treating everyone fairly and working together. I suppose if you fail wood work you can’t be expected to know everything.

According to their website, www.ancylbizlounge.co.za, for the bargain price of just under a quarter of a million you and your four victims friends can:

• Be privy to all our discussions open and closed congress discussions (sic)
• Network with Business Leaders and Decision Makers Business in a relaxed and ambient environment (sic)
• Watch history unfold on realising the ideals of the Freedom Charter, to drive Economic Freedom In our Lifetime
• Interact with ANC officials of the highest level of the ANC structures
• Have the opportunity to have breakfast with President Jacob Zuma and the President of the ANCYL, Julius Malema and many other special opportunities

Now I’ve only got a few questions. How many of their supporters have that sort of disposable income? And assuming they do get a few takers, what exactly are they going to do with that money?

Breakfast with Julius - Priceless

Umshini Wam (Bring Me My Machine Gun), a short film directed by Kids writer, Harmony Korine, and starring Die Antwoord’s Ninja and Yo-Landi premiered today at the SXSW festival in Texas.

I don’t know what to make of this myself, but have a look and tell me what you think! Maybe it’s a parody on what constitutes an apt reason to get brought ones machine gun. It certainly brings the concept to the fore and who better to ask the question of than Americans, who all seem to have access to guns whenever they like.

Now they can have them brought to them. Who knows, maybe Zuma can one day be indirectly responsible for a few gun mishaps in the US. Now wouldn’t that be something!

I like to move it move it...

Aah the usual suspects. Maybe they should form a band and call it ‘Party Of Fools’.

What a waste of public funds yet again! Not to be outdone or left out, J Zuma is on the cover!

The Mail and Gaurdian reports that,

At almost R200-million, renovating President Jacob Zumas house in Pretoria will cost almost twice the price of the most expensive house in South Africa.

This while millions of people in our country live in shacks, while countless people still wait for houses promised by this government.The article continues…

According to the 2011 estimates of national expenditure released as part of the budget package, the refurbishment of Mahlamba Ndlopfu at the Bryntirion Estate will begin in April 2011 for a duration of 15 months and at a total cost of R191-million.

The project includes upgrading infrastructure at the residence, such as bulk water, services and roads. Aside from this, a hospital will be built on the estate, which will cost an additional R62-million.

That’s the kind of shit Robert Mugabe would do, why does this man need a hospital? Chances are if anything happened to him he would probably be out doing his presidential duty and not even be there… we would hope. This does not sound like a man doing one term as president, let alone two.

Ok so lets do some sums here… The cost of building an RDP house is about R58 000, so the amount spent on refurbishing Mahlamba Ndlopfu could pay for 3 293 homes for South Africas poorest.

And all this for a public servant who claims that all questions must be referred to national treasury, which said public works was the responsible ministry. Passing The Buck as usual.

Surprise that!

Party members from Gauteng, Eastern Cape and Mpumalanga claim lists of nominated councillors include friends and relatives of the powerful, and not people chosen by the branches.

Placards holders were seen waving placards that said ” Zuma help us to go to heaven!!!” Remember I wrote about that here?

ANC Heaven?

One of the ANC regional spokes people, Bhedeshane Mceleli, warned Gwede Mantashe and ANC top brass…

“We want him to understand how volatile this situation is. People have warned that they will have a revolt like in Egypt, only a bit more aggressive,” said Mceleli.

We always know how to do things a wee bit more agreesive ’round these parts.

More here.

He said…

“When you vote for the ANC, you are also choosing to go to heaven. When you don’t vote for the ANC you should know that you are choosing that man who carries a fork … who cooks people [...] When you are carrying an ANC membership card, you are blessed. When you get up there, there are different cards used but when you have an ANC card, you will be let through to go to heaven [...] When (Jesus) fetches us we will find (them) wearing black, green and gold, the holy ones belong to the ANC.”

Say what?

Opposition parties are calling for an apology and rightly so. More here.

You can read the article here.

This is very sad. It shows Zuma is little more than a talking head, and that Malema can do whatever he wants, namely, abuse women verbally, abuse journalists verbally, racially insult people, call for murder to happen on the streets of our land, support mass murdering regimes in the name of the ANC, defy the ANC constitution by insulting his leaders, misuse police time to get opposition supporters thrown out of a vote which his candidate won.

The list goes on.

Jacob Zuma, shame on you. What do you expect from one corrupt politician to the next. I hope the people of South African wake up now and do something (votes wise) to remove this rotten bunch from power.

The entire planet can breathe a sigh of collective relief now that we know that none other than Jacob Zuma, the South African president is keeping chips until Jesus’ second coming.

Well thank God for that hey! Capable and hands springs to mind.

I understand that a lot of electioneering is done to a generally uneducated mass of people, but this is just too much.

The Times reports on a dear Presidents latest election (for the next election no doubt) promise:

Zuma, who was addressing thousands of supporters in Witbank, Mpumalanga, yesterday, said: ‘‘The ANC will rule until the Son of Man comes. He must come back while we are still in power.” The ANC president was roundly criticised by religious leaders shortly before the elections when he invoked the name of Jesus to illustrate the ruling party’s hold on power.

More here.

Now seeing as he is in charge of the ANC, that must make him a JC proxy right? With these utterings, he is either telling us that Jesus MUST come back before the next election, or that the last election we had was the last one we will have. That’ll sit quite nicely with the Mayan Calander hicks proposing an end to the world (or a second coming) by 2012.

Hang on maybe JZ was watching the same documentary I watched this last week on this topic?

Very very smart there, love the way he is covering his bases, just in case, for example, the world ends in 2012.

I was particularly interested in their claim that in 2012, there will be some sort of a galactic alignment, the first for 26 000 years, now that’s all cool and shit, but using that supposition, then EVERY moment last happened 26 000 years ago (working on that timeline)

Just like THIS moment.

…and THIS one.

But getting back to the man of the moment, JZ. I mean how can anyone makes such absurb promises and be taken seriously? Worse still is he taking himself seriously?

"High Five x 2!!!!!!!! IS NICE!!!! JZ is coming I flippen LOVE JZ man!!"

President Jacob Zuma will meet with the Bulls team on Friday ahead of the Super 14 final this weekend, his office said.

“He just wants to meet with them and say, ‘good luck’,” said presidency spokesperson Zingaphi Jakuja.

Zuma, who can sing and dance, has denied he will be part of the famous bulls cheerleading troop. You can see him in action here.

He has said he enjoys all sports, including rugby, and is meeting the Bulls at Loftus Versfeld stadium at 14:00.

Contrary to rumours the meeting will not take place in the showers. Apparently Zuma had an incident with a shower when he was younger.

The Bulls are playing against New Zealand’s Chiefs on Saturday, where a capacity 52 000 crowd, few of which expect the visitors to win, will watch the match.

Rumours that tickets have been sold at R2500, which is a lot more than even The British and Irish Lions tickets, abound. That’s hardcore. The bulls are hardcore.

JZ is hardcore.

The Bulls won the Super 14 series in 2007. The entire country is naturally supporting our ‘fully sick boys’ to coin a phrase. The phrase has nothing to do with this…. at all.

As you’re most probably aware all of this was over recent comments Helen Zille made regarding Jacob Zuma, HIV / AIDS and peoples behaviour in that regard.

SO I thought I’d check out the ANC Youth League website to see exactly what their policy on HIV / AIDS  is.

This is it.

Such a lot to say...

The entire page is in fact, empty. Now there’s a surprise.

This goes a long way to explaining the incoherrent mutterings coming from the crew at ANC YL.

Oh you can also download music (hopefully legal) and organise a DJ from the site. Multitasking to the MAX.

I read an interesting article today about Jacon Zuma getting a visit from Akon this last week. I am tempted to make all the obvious comparisons of an ex con hobkbobbing it with an almost ex con.

But I won’t.

Instead I’ll focus on the words of the ‘great JZ’. More on that below.

Incidentally Akon is here to shoot a music video and launch his clothing brand Konvict. Couldn’t have chosen a better place brother.

It’s interesting how public figures are blurring the lines with public servants, apparently Akon arrived on Thursday with an entourage of six smartly dressed people and immediately requested to meet the President.

His reasoning?

“It had been my desire to meet South Africa’s No1 citizen, the President of the Republic, Jacob Zuma,” said Akon adding that he wanted to meet him to ‘formally introduce myself’ as an African artist with the same voice that he (Zuma) has.”

He added: “I also came here to congratulate the President, following his inauguration last weekend.”

After being chauffeured to the President’s home in Forest Town in a black BMW X5, Akon used the occasion to sing for the President.

Zuma, known for dancing his trademark ‘Umshiniwami’ caused laughter when he said that, “it’s a pity that he couldn’t teach me any singing because I can sing on my own.’

We know, we know. You can dance too. An all singing all dancing president. [dancing video here] I don’t think you’re quite in Akons league as a singer but ja…

Zuma calls him Big Brother… maybe he is alluding to wanting to be Big Brother? We could have Presidential Big Brother. God I don’t even want to go into THAT, can you imagine?!  To spice it up we could allow the participants to bring their spouse(s). Nice

Ok back to the meeting.

The meeting between President Zuma and the US music icon was meant to be a courtesy call and the two were delighted. The President said: “This was a courtesy call, which I appreciate. I am very happy that my big brother came to say hello, and I appreciate that he is going to Angola after this, which is wonderful.”

Akon echoed Zuma’s words saying that he was equally delighted to meet the President. “I am very honoured to meet the man, as I just came to say hello. Entertainment and politics go hand in hand. They can both reach out and influence a lot of people.”

Surprisingly Akon didn’t slip in the word ‘great’. Meet the great man. What happened to the days when visiting Celebs used to ask to see Mandela?

I think it’s a ‘great’ thing that Akon is doing the 2010 Soccer World Cup music vibe. Check my article here.

I heard somewhere that he only wants to be in office for one term, well after that he can do events thats for sure.

You can say what you want about Jacob Zuma, the man can move. If he hadn’t have made it in public office he could have made it on Jam Alley on SABC 1, with moves like this? Maybe even South Africa’s Got Talent?[check my articles about that here and here]

JZ breaks it down like never seen before.

Hang on didn’t I see this oke at Gallery way back when in Cape Town busting some moves?

How are we supposed to take this kind of name calling seriously? It’s mind boggling that this was actually released into the press! It just in the usual vein of ANC spokesperson madness, like the Jesse Duarte rant [here], and the freedom of speech rant [here].

I personally think it is a valid argument that Zille has, and while I don’t know whether it’s the right thing to do to comment about it in public like she has, she has clearly won this little battle.

The ANC Youth League has launched its most personal attack yet on Democratic Alliance leader Helen Zille in response to her remark that President Jacob Zuma has put his wives at risk of contracting HIV.

The league said it was “disgusted by remarks attributed to the racist girl Helen Zille, who when failing to defend her stupid and sexist decision to appoint predominantly white males into her Cabinet, attacks the president of the Republic of South Africa (sic)”.

No how exactly is this sexist? Newsflash but having unprotected sex and multiple partners is a sure fire way of spreading Aids, which is a pandemic. FACT.

Calling Zille a racist little girl is infantile and downright childish. How this ties in with her selecting a predominantly male cabinet is beyond me. Anyone who has unprotected sex with an HIV positive person puts their other sexual partners at risk.

“Zille has appointed an all male Cabinet of useless people, majority of whom are her boyfriends and concubines so that she can continue to sleep around with them, yet she claims to have the moral authority to question our president (sic).”

The Sowetan on Tuesday quoted Zille as saying: “Zuma is a self-confessed womaniser with deeply sexist views, who put all his wives at risk by having unprotected sex with an HIV-positive woman.”

How they can say that the majority of these men are her boyfriends is ridiculous. That they’re useless is a matter of opinion. Where the concubines fit into this story is lost on me. She selects these people so she can continue to ‘sleep around with them’?

Militant action

The remarks reportedly came in response to criticism from Congress of SA Trade Unions (Cosatu) Western Cape secretary Tony Ehrenreich on the composition of her provincial executive.

Zille is the only woman on the team.

The ANCYL threatened to take “militant action” against the premier.

Yawn. Maybe the ANCYL should get a gag order until someone of substance can be appointed to their press liason position?

Militant action again. Why not try something new? So anyone who doesn’t agree with the ANCYL is subject to militant action?

“If the fake racist girl Zille continues to speak hogwash like she has been doing during elections, we will take militant action against her, and demonstrate to her that she does not have monopoly over the Western Cape (sic),” it said.

“The fake racist girl who was dropped on a head as child should understand that South Africa will never be a Mickey-mouse republic like she wants to portray it (sic),” it added.

“An absolute majority of South Africans support President Jacob Zuma and will find it very disgusting for a fake racist apartheid agent to continue undermining the highest office in South Africa (sic).”

You see unfortunately for th ANCYL, an absolute majority also support Zille’s party in the Western Cape. So quite frankly she can choose whatever cabinet she wishes.It’s intersting to see she isn’t a ‘real racist’, rather a fake one, who was dropped on her head as a child. Its remarks such as this which could possibly be attributed to mickey mouse. Maybe whoever wrote these statements was smoking HUGE ROX?

ANC condemns Zille statement

The ANC has also condemned Zille’s statement, saying it was “astounded by the extraordinary attack by Democratic Alliance leader Helen Zille on the person of President Jacob Zuma.”

Zuma conceded during his rape trial in 2006 that he had had unprotected sex with his accuser, an HIV positive family friend, but said he had showered afterwards to minimise the risk of infection.

Asked for comment, Zille’s spokesperson Fritz de Klerk said a response was being drafted.

Sigh. Maybe these younguns should take a leaf out of Tokyo Sexwale’s book on how to handle the press?

Read more about that here.

This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

The Deputy President of the Republic of South Africa – Kgalema Petros Motlanthe.

1. Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries Tina Joemat-Pettersson.
Deputy Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries Dr Pieter Mulder.

2. Minister of Arts and Culture Lulu Xingwana.
Deputy Minister of Arts and Culture Paul Mashatile.

3. Minister of Basic Education Angie Motshekga.
Deputy Minister of Basic Education Enver Surty.

4. Minister of Communications Siphiwe Nyanda.
Deputy Minister of Communications Dina Pule.

5. Minister of Co-operative Governance and Traditional Affairs Sicelo Shiceka.
Deputy Minister of Co-operative Governance and Traditional Affairs Yunus Carrim.

6. Minister of Correctional Services Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula.
Deputy Minister of Correctional Services Hlengiwe Mkhize.

7. Minister of Defence and Military Veterans Lindiwe Sisulu.
Deputy Minister of Defence and Military Veterans Thabang Makwetla.

8. Minister of Economic Development Ebrahim Patel.
Deputy Minister of Economic Development Gwen Mahlangu-Nkabinde.

9. Minister of Energy Dipuo Peters.
10. Minister of Finance Pravin Gordhan.

Deputy Minister of Finance Nhlanhla Nene.
11. Minister of Health Dr Aaron Motsoaledi.

Deputy Minister of Health Dr Molefi Sefularo.
12. Minister of Higher Education and Training Dr Blade Nzimande.

13. Minister of Home Affairs Dr Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma.
Deputy Minister of Home Affairs Malusi Gigaba.

14. Minister of Human Settlements Tokyo Sexwale.
Deputy Minister of Human Settlements Zou Kota.

15. Minister of International Relations and Co-operation Maite Nkoana-Mashabane.
Deputy Minister of International Relations and Co-operation (1) Ebrahim Ismail Ebrahim.
Deputy Minister of International Relations and Co-operation (2) Sue van der Merwe.

16. Minister of Justice and Constitutional Development Jeff Radebe.
Deputy Minister of Justice and Constitutional Development Andries Nel.

17. Minister of Labour Membathisi Mdladlana.
18. Minister of Mining Susan Shabangu.

19. Minister of Police Nathi Mthethwa.
Deputy Minister of Police Fikile Mbalula.

20. Minister of Public Enterprises Barbara Hogan.
Deputy Minister of Public Enterprises Enoch Godongwana.

21. Minister for the Public Service and Administration Richard Baloyi.
Deputy Minister for the Public Service and Administration Roy Padayachie.

22. Minister of Public Works Geoff Doidge.
Deputy Minister of Public Works Hendrietta Bogopane-Zulu.

23. Minister of Rural Development and Land Reform Gugile Nkwinti.
Deputy Minister of Rural Development and Land Reform Dr Joe Phaahla.

24. Minister of Science and Technology Naledi Pandor.
Deputy Minister of Science and Technology Derek Hanekom.

25. Minister of Social Development Edna Molewa.
Deputy Minister of Social Development Bathabile Dlamini.

26. Minister of Sport and Recreation Makhenkesi Stofile.
Deputy Minister of Sport and Recreation Gert Oosthuizen.

27. Minister of State Security Siyabonga Cwele.
28. Minister in The Presidency (1) National Planning Commission Trevor Manuel.

29. Minister in The Presidency (2) Performance Monitoring and Evaluation as well as Administration in the Presidency Collins Chabane.
30. Minister of Tourism Marthinus van Schalkwyk.

Deputy Minister of Tourism Thozile Xasa.
31. Minister of Trade and Industry Rob Davies.

Deputy Minister of Trade and Industry (1) Thandi Tobias.
Deputy Minister of Trade and Industry (2) Maria Ntuli.

32. Minister of Transport Sbusiso Joel Ndebele.
Deputy Minister of Transport Jeremy Cronin.

33. Minister of Water and Environmental Affairs Buyelwa Sonjica.
Deputy Minister of Water and Environmental Affairs Rejoice Mabhudafhasi.

34. Minister of Women, Youth, Children and People with Disabilities Noluthando Mayende-Sibiya.

Interesting to see Hogan moved to State Enterprises, whatever that is, and to see Sexwale doing ‘Human Settlement. Maybe this means he will use his housing skills to get some work done in an area the ANC has sucked recently. Here’s hoping.

In light of the recent adverts that have featured high ranking ANC dudes, such as the Julius Puppet adverts from Nandos [here], and the Zuma shower Gel Adverts by laughitoff [here], I thought I’d bring out an old one.

Pronto.

Don't pick me noooo not me!!

The report read:

Relatives of president elect Jacob Zuma, huddled against the cold at the Union Buildings on Saturday, said they would slaughter six cows in celebration of his inauguration.

“He was a football of the country for some time, but we knew from the beginning that he wasn’t wrong,” said Zuma’s sister-in-law, Rose Zuma,

Rose, wife of Zuma’s younger brother Mike, travelled to Pretoria by car from KwaMashu in KwaZulu-Natal on Friday to attend the long-awaited event.

Although rain dampened proceedings somewhat [read more here], apparently JZ put on a good show, sans dancing, and delivered a good speech. Good on you JZ.

Watered Down

Here’s a report from News24 via Zuma gets rainy welcome : Elections: News: News24.

Johannesburg – The heavens opened over the Union Buildings in Pretoria ahead of Jacob Zuma’s inauguration on Saturday morning.

Guests huddled under umbrellas provided as thunder rumbled overhead.

Officials scrambled to remove programmes and blankets as the thousands of people let out a huge cheer and whistles as the rain poured harder.

Snipers on the roof pulled their hoods over the eyes as journalists sheltering under the balcony laughed that for the first time ever they had the best seats.

After a few minutes guests began heading for the cover of the inner buildings.

The main seat on the presidential podium were protected by an awning.

On the public lawns people were hiding under trees and trying to take shelter in portable loos, commenting that the rain was a good omen.

Children ignored the rain and played in the mud, while new friendships were struck as strangers shared umbrellas.

There’s something kinda cool about this report. The fact children were playing and people were making new mates etc kinda gives you a kodak moment doesn’t it?

All JZ needed was some Zuma Shower Gel, the heavens supplied the rest.

Still from the Zumanizer shoot

I listened to some ANC spokesperson dude chatting to a Times reporter about the Zuma Shower Gel Advert.You can listen to it below.

I wrote an article about this before which you can read here.

I had to listen to this TWICE just to make sure I heard it properly.  It seems to me that if you want to work for the ANC as a spokesperson in any manner, you need to know how to royally fuck up your public mutterings. Firstly I don’t know who this dude is that is being interviewed here, but I know he makes no sense.

He says the ANC are investigating taking legal advice. Is that not legal advice already? Or are they asking someone who isn’t involved in legal advice whether they should take some legal advice on this matter?

Dude I know English might not be your first language, but really, youre a SPOKESMAN. Surely you need to be qualified to be the ruling parties spokesperson. Oh hang on I forgot about the chop Jesse and her rant. Maybe all you need to be is blindly faithful to your handler leader. Maybe this dude is after her job? Listen to her rant here and judge her for yourself.

He carries on about the shower scene like its the rape case that is being referenced. It’s irrelevant he was aquitted, its the fact that he alluded to showering after having intercourse with an HIV positive person as being a normal thing to do, as opposed to perhaps getting tested for HIV/AIDS. Incidentally has he been tested? Should he really be getting it on with his wives without knowing? That just a wee bit irresponsible for a man in his position in a country with our problems.

He also says the ANC believe in freedom of speech, but with limits. Well then thats not really freedom of speech then is it? I actually dont know what else to call it, but I was always under the impression that freedom of speech meant freedom of speech. Its up to our sense of decency as to whether we say certain things or not, and our intellect whether we believe everything we see.

I can’t believe he didnt mention the COCAINE shown in the clip, that would have been my first observation. I think the reporter was trying to get him to pick up on that.

If you have been under a rock and havent seen the clip yet, you can check it out here (hurry before it’s taken down or something)

Laughitoff are aclso carrying this interview over on their site [here]. Thats where I got my picture from, thanks guys. They called it Zumanizer, haha, gotta love it.