Have a stiff one!

The beer, dubbed the Royal Virility Performance, contains various aphrodisiacs and a ‘healthy dose of sarcasm’

Wonder if they will be on happy hour at Doodles?

It was the Austrialia versus Kenya Match in the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 and I was having drinks with my better half down at Doodles Beachfront, our local bar…

I was staring at the screen as one does when I noticed this pearler…

Jussus Bru! Your Ouma is a keeper!

They may not have won the game, but Kenya’s Ouma is a Keeper!

What a view!

When Red Bull Racing was formed back in 2005, a separate squad was established to take a full-spec Formula One car to places and countries where there are no races, to give them a taste of F1. From South Africa to Russia, from Japan to Jamaica, the team’s drivers have been providing the fastest street entertainment on the planet ever since.

As well as promoting the teams around the globe to markets F1 doesn’t otherwise reach, it’s a chance for those countries without a race to get up very close to an F1 car doing what it’s made for. The high-speed runs, burnouts and doughnuts coupled with the noise and fumes make it a thrilling experience.

Now it’s OUR Turn, the Red Bull Showcar will be whizzing past you at these times…

Marine Drive
Table View
27 March 2011
13h00

Well I was sitting here wondering that EXACT thing when Asstastic suggested we head down to Doodles for some sundowners…

Oh oh what to dooooooo??

So I thought about it… various things have gone down at this place, such as the infamous finger scratching video… and I had to think long and hard about my life, the direction it’s heading and whether doing such awful things would be worth my while. Then I thought about those poor folks in Johannesburg going through Toll road crises and I thought it would be childish of me NOT to go enjoy this view…

Now thats what Im talking about...

Shame what a kak view… Someone thought it best to include a wrecked ship for Kitesurfers to jump off…

Get your kak off our beach!

Unlucky.

So, last night my man and I went down to our local. We are regulars at Doodles and everytime we go,  my Jelly bear comes up with some random way to make me laugh… This one took the cake.

I can’t remember ever getting an itchy finger, (no gutter brain don’t go there ) so i’m not sure if this is normal. You tell me!??

Here we can see Joe Social scratching his finger… wait for it… on his chin??? and then what would look like him rubbing his cheek, is actually him scratching his finger on the side of his face ( I almost made a crude joke about fingering and faces..work it out) …

God bless men who have stubble to get rid if those nasty finger itches and God bless my Blackberry for capturing moments such as these!

Mostly I see them down at my local pub Doodles, causing kak and creating general mayhem. They’re not too well behaved either…

Recently this ship ran aground and we have all been wondering what to do about the wreck of the Seli 1. Well one of these kitesurfer dudes clearly saw it as more than scrap metal or an artificial reef.

He thought, hell lets jump off this thing! I gotta tell you its a wee bit irresponsible, what with kitesurfers reguarly pegging ’round these parts flying into buildings and shit… The biggest respect must go to how he launched his kite while up there!

Anyway here’s the vid of crazy Nick Jacobsen jumping off the Seli 1…

Crane Jump from kitecentre Zanzibar on Vimeo.

We were innocently watching rugby then cricket at Doodles when we suddenly realised it was Tuesday night happy hour (from 7pm till 8pm). Up until then it had felt like a regular Sunday. Francios from bands4africa was playing and he always puts on a good show.

The rest as they say, was a bloody mess.

Anyway to liven my mood today I thought ‘hey I have the perfect tonic, how about watching some cats on a treadmill?’ That should be a laugh!

I was NOT disappointed.

I googled it and found this clip. Last year this was trending like you wont believe on twitter, before I had joined, hence me not knowing about it then.

I smiled all the way through.

Like a Cheshire Cat (Sorry couldn’t resist)

Nice one Sparky!! I love the two legged walking. At one point ‘our hero’ looks like a deejay at a rave club popping pills. Love your work.

Thats a half lazy cat right there. It’s amazing how much fun a simple thing such as this can be.

Follow me on Twitter here

Now it’s really important to have a good balance in life, something not too easy when it’s chucking down in Winter all the time. So when you get a chance to go for Sundowners you need to grab it!

It’s been such a fantastic day and work has been bearable, I bought myself some new clothing too, so all round its good. So while I was contemplating the thought of gym versus Doodles Beachfront for Sundowners, I glanced sidways out of my office window and got this snap…

A Cape Town Winters Day - Big Sky Over Table Mountain

It’s a no brainer really.

After all it is Tuesday and it is happy hour and they do have winter specials on the go.

Just to really double check if it is winter I cast a glance all ’round, not a cloud in sight…

Go for sundowners Joe go for Sundowners NOW!!

Yes my Sun.

Basically we are looking at shite weather all weekend with a smaller reprieve come Tuesday.

But , just when you thought you were having a crappy day, spare a thought for this dude… He was just doing his job when the TV Gods said, hey let’s add a big KNOB in there shall we?!

That”ll be a laugh.

The wind will be a pomping South Westerly

Thanks for coming!

Aaaah I miss those lazy summer days at Doodles already. Seeing as I only just got my wordpress to allow me to post pics and add links again (thanks NO-ONE I figured it out all on my lonesome, three days and one notification of non crediting here going down, sorry Joy!!) I can now finally upload some of my other pics I took over the last few weeks, the last vestiges of a summer spent in… spent in… well just spent.

I managed to snap this picture just before summer fucked off the the season, that’s the Sun saying good seeya next year mofo…

The Sky Above Doodles, super pissed off at the impending shocking weather

Im getting quite good at this picture taking malarkey, never mind the fact you have to be a 60 word a minute typer to get your picture settings all set up before you can take a shot with a Samsung Omnia. ooohhh I was totally oversold there by that chick at the Vodacom shop in Canal Walk. The fact that I have no patience had nothing to do with it, honest.

Talking of patience does anyone know what this means?

Right of way to people with sore backs please, obviously!

It means lots of dead tourists come the Soccer World Cup 2010. I live down the road from a number of circles in Big Bay and they all have these signs, yet no-one stops. I hate to think what Joe Tourist is gonna be met with when attempting to use one of these in Cape Town.

I’m thinking CY and bullbars motherfucker.

I had been out the night before with my friend Rachel to Doodles [website here] for happy hour to watch the legendary Francios from band4africa play [his website here] so I was feeling REALLY sorry for myself. Anyway yesterday felt a lot like summer and I even got a bit of colour in the face which felt awsome.

I snapped this pic of Robben Islands side profile. I think it came out pretty well. I have to admit I have a very good vantage point for the kind of picture and Robben Island always stands up very high off the horizon from where I’m standing. I didn’t quite get that in this pic but the clouds were looking good above the Island.

Robben Island side profile pic taken from Big Bay

This was all after I had had brekkie with Rachel in Melkbos, after having negotiated rude titbag drivers such as this one…

You rude rude prick, thanks for taking up two bays you selfish git.

Some people hey. This is what happens when you act like a total tool. People take pictures of you and publish them.

Etienne on the other hand had a far clearer and altogether more pleasant message to put out there.

Give me Hugs not Drugs

If you look REALLY closely he has one of those ‘Give me hugs not drugs stickers’. Nice work Ets. You’re practically alone in this let me tell you.

Incidentally talking about hugs, have you noticed how everyone now hugs each other hello? It’s a relatively new thing in South Africa. I for one enjoy it as it means you get to hug a cutie when you first meet her. She is like oooh ok you’re a hugger. It’s a little awkward hugging the huggee at times. You kinda don’t know which way to put your head. I hug Rightside. Thats my right shoulder to your right shoulder. Cos that’s the way I like to roll.

You get the over zealous hug crazy hug bug as is always the case. Someone always has to screw it up for everyone else, and hug you incessantly, does the double cheek kiss thing then slap snap fisties [thanks Seth, more here] AND tries to get a hand shake vibe in with it, which is obviously not cool.

Quite frankly those people need to grow up. You’re ruining it for the rest of us.

Let’s hope Etienne ain’t one of them.

I’m gonna end off with this. Some people het nie ‘class’ nie. It’s really sad. Isn’t it Claasie?

I know my windscreen needs a shine up but this oke should have a serious rethink on the message he is putting out there. Hy het nie claasie...

So here I was sitting thinking my good God this day is going to get out of control, what with my escapades Doodleside (that’s Tuesday night happy hour at Doodles Beachfront with Francois of Bands4Africa playing legendary music) when I logged onto www.slxs.co.za, one of my favourite Cape Town websites, to find THIS…

No under 'NO" Allowed

Oh my word I have a stitch.

So they quite cleverly tried to add TWO questions in one here. Very very sneaky Mr ANC Youth League website designer dude. I think perhaps the superiorly intellectual ANC Youth League Spokesman Floyd Shivambu may have had a hand in this. Remember his little ‘sleeping around is sleeping around’ rant here?

I’d be thrilled senseless to hear his take on this!

You’ll notice they have no advertisers. I wonder why not? Except themselves of course. It looks like all the dudes on the T shirts below are having a FAT party.

Incidently they don’t seem to think there are voters OVER 40.

This smacks of just saying something for the sakes of saying it, but hey I guess that’s their policy.

At the time of writing this was still live on their website. Keep your finger on the pulse boys.

The way I feel has absolutely nothing to do with Phil the Thrills 3.4 birthday party last night which ended up at my mates club at the Old Biscuit Mill, decoDance.

Incidentally people there are like a hundred million roadblocks out there so be reponsible and work with the authorities on this one. Don’t be a chop about it basically.

Anyway… I digress… where where we? Oh yes, we were here…

What a Shite view

Click the image for a larger version. I was only kidding, seriously, it’s not that shite. What was REALLY KAK was when there was a Jacob Zuma picture adorning the lamp post that Tamryn very cleverly did not get into her picture. Something I can’t do.

‘Cos I have a piece of shit camera.. and I NEVER blame my tools.

So we looked over a little and this jumped out at us.

Sunset over Robben Island

Click to go big.

Anyway there are tons of these vendor dudes that show off their wares along the strip and this guy was a most undustrious dude. Not only did he make a flippen massive wire motorbike, he also CHARGED for the picture, before telling us his dream was to make a wire Mandela in the Waterfront. So my obvious first thought was… ummm youre making wire motorbikes at the Blouberg Beachfront, what exactly is stopping you from making wire Mandelas at the Waterfront?

Nice Bike

I think these guys are well versed in what to say to ellicit that extra buck. Incidentally brutha maaaan, while talking about extra bucks and all that, what’s under the hat? This doesn’t take away from the fact they are obviously super talented.

Then, and in final reference to my all time favourite music video (for now that is) we spotted these birds trying to get on the boat.

Birds and a Boat

Not just any boat mind you, THE boat. The one from the video… which is just out of shot… promise [video here]

I’m a bit late on this episode this week. I had a fat party at Doodles last night where I was dodging the renovations to get my fill of the action. Thursday, two hours happy hour, you know the drill.

So as I always do this time of the week I checked out Seth Rotherhams 2oceansvibe ‘The Weather Girls’ episode. Not only is it a fuck load better than watching a SABC weather report, the girls are always smoking, the humour is great and the lifestyle part of it is fun.

I swear to God everyone is gonna be doing snap fisties soon. Other than that, my all time favourite now has a name. The Dimples of Venus. Geez this Venus chick musta been something else.

This weeks Weather Girl is none other than Tracy McGregor.

and Venus was her name.

Unfortunately the weather is a total dogs arse this weekend, but looking at Tracy grace the small screen (ok maybe not that small I have a bigscreen Laptop) was well worth my waking up early effort. The way she pulls off bikini tops with jeans bottoms is a rare super talent. Cape Town chicks hey, I love ‘em.

Well enough of me, more of Tracy McGregor.

I dunno about you but that mofarkin ‘Do the death test’ advert is gonna die!!

It’s really so kak.

Damn you Samsung Omnia DAMN YOU!! How dare you spoil such a beautiful shot!

This ones a little bit better. Can you see the boat? That’s NOT the one Im referring to, the one I refer to below was BIGGER, and slighty over to the right. Kinda Robben Eilandish.

What a lovely Catamaran

Iwas having a conversation with a really pretty young thing I had just met… when she said to me… hey…. look what kind of boat is that? She pointed over to what was VERY CLEARLY a cargo carrier sitting in Table Bay. I thought about this for a second then told her… it’s a Catamaran.

She was obviously trying to make conversation.

Using my absolute niceness that I hold within me, I eventually told her “No I’m only kidding thats a container carrier, would you like a tequila?”

All this got me thinking about one of my favourite music vids of all time. This is it.

I love a bit of satire on a monday morning evening. I just love the fact that these guys can take the piss out of anything and make it sound good. Its pretty funny too. I actually remember the first time I saw an RnB/HipHop boat scene. I thought then… Ummm ok these okes are on a boat now what? (talking of WHAT check this out.)

Nice to see I’m not the only one thinking these things.

For the more risque amongst you lets revisit another one of their offerings shall we? Remember Jizz in my pants? Another powerful song from The Lonely Island. Go here, but be warned, not for the prudes amongst us. Featuring Molly Sims. Gotta love it.