As Tom Cruises character Frank Mackey says in Magnolia when asked what he is doing…

“Im quietly judging you.”

Now rugby writers covering the Lions tour to SA need be scared and quake in their boots as I quietly judge them. Just like Frank Mackey does.

Well not so quietly.

Those of you that know me know that I generally know a lot about a lot of things. Therefore, nothing grates me more than someone who  is writing specifically about one subject and can’t even get their basic info right. Now I don’t actually CARE if I get any of this wrong, as I’m not that kinda writer.

Don’t judge me.

I have for you exhibit A.

In an article for the Independant regarding the British and Irish Lions Tour to South Africa (which is now showing at a stadium near you BTW), reference is made of the matches that will be played on tour.

This is the first game as described here.

ROYAL XV, Saturday, May 30
Venue: Rustenburg (Royal Bafokeng Sports Palace), Capacity: 38,000
Coach: Chaka Willemse. Key players (possible): Michael Bondesio, Dennis Brits, Hannes Franklin.
History: An invitational team likely to comprise players from sides like Valke, the Leopards and Pumas as the Lions open their tour at altitude.
Verdict: Should prove a comfortable opening victory for the tourists.

Umm ok! Firstly the Stadium is actually seats 42 000 [wiki wiki] but that’s just nitpicking. I have never heard of any of those okes mentioned. The team was made up largely of Griquas players. 11 in fact. The verdict what with the benefit of hindsight, was that the Lions almost got fucked up.

Highly uncomfortable.

Exhibit B.

SHARKS, Wednesday, June 10
Venue: Durban (ABSA Stadium) Capacity: 52,000
Coach: John Plumtree. Key players: John Smit, Ruan Pienaar, Ryan Kankowski.
History: Finished third in Super 12 or 14 rugby on three occasions. On their day, a devastating unit under the direction of former Swansea coach John Plumtree.
Verdict: Comfortably the strongest of South Africa’s Super 14 sides, they could make life tough for the Lions.

There’s that word again. Comfortably the strongest? You clearly haven’t heard of the Bulls. You won’t read any Shark bashing on this site…. well not now anyway, simply because my team are so KAK! [The Stoners Stormers]

Then follows an arb game against the Southern Kings, who incidentally don’t even have a coach a team or ANYTHING yet, other than a vociferous leader in Cheeky Watson. Just what they need methinks.

I’m getting sidetracked here.

Exhibit C.

SOUTH AFRICA, June 20, June 27 and July 4.
Venues: Durban (June 20), Pretoria (Loftus Versfeld, June 27) and Johannesburg (July 4) Capacities: 52,000 (Durban), 45,000 (Pretoria), 60,000 (Johannesburg)
Coach: Peter de Villiers. Captain: John Smit. Key players: Victor Matfield, Schalk Burger, Bryan Habana.
History: Current world champions, as they were in 1997 when the Lions last toured South Africa. Notoriously physical and powerful, history is on their side, having won seven Test series against their British and Irish visitors.
Verdict: Test series might be closer than many people think, but South Africa to take it 2-1.

Notorious eh? How about key players “The Whole Team”…  seriously though, Key player should really be Fourie du Preez. Unless of course you’ve been under a rock.

I also love the way this unnamed writer says currently Worls Champs, like they were last time. Very sneaky.

He then goes on to suggest it’s going on to be closer than we all think. Is it? I think the Boks should kill the Lions.

As for notorious this is what it ACTUALLY means, so we are powerful for bad reasons…?

Adj.    1.    notorious – known widely and usually unfavorably; “a notorious gangster”; “the tenderloin district was notorious for vice”; “the infamous Benedict Arnold”;

Furthermore after the last few weeks, Morne Steyn must be the starting flyhalf. So roll on the rhetoric, I can’t wait for all this to be well and truly underway so we can actually see who is who. They’re playing the Lions this Wednesday and THAT should be the first real form indicator.

I back the Lions to win that one, geddit?

My money is on the the new look boks, in their new looks Jerseys, and this time by a long way.

You heard it here folks.

Joe Social

I'm writing this cos I have a lot to say and sometimes I cant sleep unless I write it. Then its gone from my head.

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