FUNK MAIL

This email is from Miss Anna ..subject reads..” HELLO”

Attention,Permit me to solicit for your assistance to invest in your Country.I have been searching for a addvanced/developing country with economic and political stability to invest in. I wish you will be of a great assistance to me considering your position and statues in Business. However, I will keep further detail personal till when I read from you. I wish mydream to invest in your Country will be a successful one..I do expect to read from you as soon as possible Yours.Miss Anna.

Dear Miss Anna,

HELLO to you too!

To be quite honest with you, I would not permit you to “solicit” me, but seeing as you have already made me open this email I might as well read it.

Unfortunately your search for an “advanced/developing country with economic and political stability” seems to have led you to South Africa for some reason. I don’t know if you’ve heard but most countries are now struggling, with the current recession and all that crap. Yes, it’s getting better, but South Africa will need more than just a bit of economic growth to get anywhere near ‘addvanced/developing”.

To call our economy stable would be pushing it just a wee bit! Our political situation is no better off. At the moment our current ruling party is more concerned with the fact that Zacob Zuma has now got “approximately” 20 (twenty) children. It’s sad to say all political parties are at war with each other, be it over the 20 children fiasco or how to run a country. Shit happens!

You’ve struck out twice already. You can only strike out 3 times right? OBVIOUSLY..you would prove me wrong!
Unfortunately South Africa is neither “addvanced” or “developing”. Something to do with politicians and how they cannot run a country!! Just a rumour I heard! Who am I? I just live here!

Yes, please, let us consider my current position and “statues” in business. I currently work as a Broker’s assistant, I have not been paid in 3 months. Basically it is not good. Short and sweet. There you have it. Just in case you didn’t know..that means…I’m being fucked over and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it!

Please do as you promised and keep “this detail” private, as I wouldn’t want the world to know what a prick the person who is supposed to pay me, is.

It’s AWESOME that you wish and dream. I do that too sometimes. Sometimes I dream prince Charming will sweep me off my feet and together we can ride off into the sunset in his white 4×4. Other times, I wish people like you would stop sending me totally, unasked for ,crap emails that basically comes down to be a big scam!

I expect to “read” from you soon too, in fact why don’t we “read” from each other at least once a week so we can become the bestest Interweb mates so we can pretend we’re not scamming each other! AWESOME IDEA!

Yours

Miss BananaHammock

PS. Don’t give up on your search for that “addvanced/developing” country with political and economic stability; hopefully they will give you Microsoft word so you can do a spell /grammar check on your scams before you send them to decent hard working citizens. VIVA SOUTH AFRICA!

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