Then I saw what she wore. Some of you may feel that this is ignorant on my part and that I maybe need to “get with the times”, but seriously. She looks to me like she couldn’t decide what to wear, so simply chucked on some black bags and sticky taped her dogs collar to her lady-parts.

And of course there was the almost obligatory wardrobe malfunction as she stood posing like someone checking to see if they have bad armpit odour for the fawning photographers. Ah well, I thought. It’s just me. I suppose this is what fashion is all about?

Until I saw the pictures of her accepting her award and at the after party. Then I realised it’s not fashion at all. It’s just another classic case of “one day people will realise I don’t sing all that well and so I better find other ways to put myself out there before the Fame monster vomits me out again syndrome”.

Here Endeth the Rant.

At Socialyz we have an enormous amount of articles surrounding JuJu and the ANC. Their election campaign had me vomiting on a daily basis and I couldn’t help but wonder who would actually vote for these idiots.

Their campaign was based on race. Are you black or white or coloured? Are you a boer? Actually yes I am white and my forefathers are boers and I think it’s disgusting that you tar all white people with the same brush. This goes both ways by the way.

We all remember the quotes so who could actually take this guy seriously? Infact, who could take this political party serious? Deborah Patta from 3rd degree asked Julius,”If you fail matric,would you kill yourself?”Julius replied,”Me kill myself, I would rather commit suicide” All white people are thieves. If you don’t vote for the ANC you will go to Hell, and if you don’t vote for the ANC Mandela will die etc etc etc…

I read an article on News24 written by an ANC supporter and I actually pity that person. Yes, the Western Cape isn’t perfect but why don’t you move to Gauteng? I dare you! If in 17 years, YEARS, they couldn’t get their act straight what makes you think they will do it now? 17 Years people!

I moved to the Western Cape 6 months ago and over night I saw a change.When I stepped off the airplane that morning, I was greeted with “Welcome to the REAL South Africa”.

The Western Cape isn’t perfect but it is so much better than any other part of the country simply because the DA know what they are doing. Zille is a former journalist and anti-apartheid activist,and famously exposed the truth behind the death of Black Consciousness leader Steve Biko while working for the Rand Daily Mail in the late 1970s. I bet you Juju and Zuma don’t now that because they are blinded by the race factor.

It’s treating everyone fairly and working together. I suppose if you fail wood work you can’t be expected to know everything.

© 2011 Zapiro (All rights reserved) Printed with permission from www.zapiro.com For more Zapiro cartoons visit www.zapiro.com

This cartoon features ANC leader , and our current president, Jacob Zuma delivering our easter eggs ( government, services, SAPS and ministers) the only problem is these eggs are all cracked.

I mentioned that the elections are coming up and this cartoon displays my thoughts exactly. We all believed in the Easter bunny or Santa Clause when we were 5 years old. And I’m sure many of you believe or believed, at one point, in the ANC’s election promises.

This year they promise even bigger things. We all read the news papers and we all see and hear about the absurd things the ANC party and it’s members ( this includes Julius Malema and his rants)get up to. Most days I just shake my head and wish I was an Ostrich so I could bury my head in the sand at how ashamed I am of our government. I’m not even talking about the “alleged” corruption within the ANC.

© 2011 Zapiro (All rights reserved) Printed with permission from www.zapiro.com For more Zapiro cartoons visit www.zapiro.com

I guess if you believe in the Easter bunny, you can also believe in the ANC’s newest election promises.

Now I hear that a sick in the head Lady Gaga fan has been charged with animal cruelty after she killed her cat and used its blood to make an outfit to wear to a Lady Gaga concert.

That’s not just animal cruelty, that’s insane!

20-year-old Angelina Barnes reportedly drowned the cat in her bathroom, before cutting it up and smearing its blood on her face and arms.

It has been speculated she was ‘inspired’ by Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

She was about to leave her home for Gaga’s Oklahoma City show when a relative walked in on her and discovered the crime.

She is now being treated for depression and faces an animal cruelty charge.

I have and it’s quite something. It goes something like this.

A mate of yours is excited about something and can win a prize IF she tells all her friends about it. We have all heard this before right? So she goes ahead and excitedly writes an email to her mates on Facebook and copies them all in. She asks them to help realise her dream of winning something, something she will remember for the rest of her life. It’s a dream wedding holiday or something like that.

All sounds innocent so far doesn’t it?

Then the shit starts. Karma wallops your mate back with a big stick. Her mates who in the beginning wished her well start turning on the writer. WTF is this they ask?? I didn’t sign up for this? Who the hell is sending me this crap?

They start to lose it. Logic suggests they ignore the thing and it will go away. But nooooo, they can’t ignore it. One by one they start replying, replying to ALL. Each and every one of the the 150 chosen email recipients starts adding their two cents. Soon we are on about a buck fifty and people are starting to get pissed off. REMOVE ME FROM THIS THING THEY CRY!!!! My life is being singularly ruined by this one terrible mail which in all honesty is totally harmless.

Eventually everyone who knows a little about this kind of thing has had their say. Don’t reply just ignore it, it will go away.

Eventually it goes away.

Until… one relatively sunless day at the arse end of Summer someone thinks… hey what if i hit this reply to all thing?

And so the can of worms reopens.

Each one of us misses the fact that our mate wanted something nice she could remember us fondly for. Let’s not forget that.

Some people though, are a little less worried about things like their fellow man. We are playing around with the idea of having some sort of weekly reminder that not only is there always someone out there who doesn’t care, but that somewhere, somehow, someone at Socialyz is looking out for their fellow Capetonians.

We were watching as the chap driving this car – sans conscience – ditched their fully lit cigarette out the car window this morning (Wednesday morning 6/04/2011) on Plein St in Durbanville. Adjacent to an open patch of dry grass brightspark? Nice one. Thankfully we aren’t prone to out of control fires here in the Cape…

Anyway, as I followed our amateur arsonist a sharp passer-by went over and stood on the fire hazard. You see, everyday heroes are everywhere.

Unfortunately it still left me fuming, so I decided we would name and shame the villain of my little rant on the world wide watchdog.

You’re the Firestarter, Twisted Firestarter

KC Flooring & Carpets…. we’re watching you.

The Mail and Gaurdian reports that,

At almost R200-million, renovating President Jacob Zumas house in Pretoria will cost almost twice the price of the most expensive house in South Africa.

This while millions of people in our country live in shacks, while countless people still wait for houses promised by this government.The article continues…

According to the 2011 estimates of national expenditure released as part of the budget package, the refurbishment of Mahlamba Ndlopfu at the Bryntirion Estate will begin in April 2011 for a duration of 15 months and at a total cost of R191-million.

The project includes upgrading infrastructure at the residence, such as bulk water, services and roads. Aside from this, a hospital will be built on the estate, which will cost an additional R62-million.

That’s the kind of shit Robert Mugabe would do, why does this man need a hospital? Chances are if anything happened to him he would probably be out doing his presidential duty and not even be there… we would hope. This does not sound like a man doing one term as president, let alone two.

Ok so lets do some sums here… The cost of building an RDP house is about R58 000, so the amount spent on refurbishing Mahlamba Ndlopfu could pay for 3 293 homes for South Africas poorest.

And all this for a public servant who claims that all questions must be referred to national treasury, which said public works was the responsible ministry. Passing The Buck as usual.

You know I wrote about the Fracking Karoo thing the other day right? Well I have been following this for a number of reasons, firstly because I give a shit about our Earth, and anything that injects chemicals and god knows how many millions of litres of fresh water (mixed with chemicals) into our SOIL and WATER TABLE is just plan STUPID, secondly because I love the Karoo and the fact that its undeveloped, and thirdly because I’m involved in a Karoo Solar Power Business which is specifically aimed at turning the tide towards our people using green energy that does not pollute the land or use unsustainable power sources.

You can therefore imagine my consternation when reading the drivel our Energy Minister Dipua Peters dishes out to the press. Today she claims that any shale gas exploration is driven by a need to decrease our green house gas emissions.

“Because if we don’t use that gas for whatever purposes that we would want to use it for, it will be released into the atmosphere and it will also create another particular challenge.” Dipua Peters said to press on Thursday.

So let me get this right, if we don’t use the gas, it will be released into the atmosphere? Excuse me? So using this logic, then this gas should already be leaking out right now surely? Is there a start date to when this will happen, or will this happen once you frack the place up?

Just because there is gas there doesn’t mean we have to use it. When will the people of South Africa be given some respect and have a representative in such an important position that understands what they are doing and doesn’t use such idiotic logic to discuss such important issues.

If you want to sign that petition then please check my last article ‘Stop Fracking in the Karoo’ and put your name on the list! Lets kick up a stink more than any gas will…

You can read more about the Energy Minister’s press sojourns here.

I do this as I firmly believe this is the future. We have a multi billion megaton nuclear engine in the sky eight light minutes away from us yet we persist in exploiting non renewable resources here on our planet.

Well recently there are disturbing reports about money hungry Shell wanting to spoil our country and take gases out of our ground, by using mining operations to extract natural gas using a controversial technique called hydraulic fracturing or ‘fracking’.

This kind of thing has to be vehemently opposed by the people who actually live there!

Thats why I’m so happy to find this petition which we can all sign to hopefully make our voices heard.

Go To Fracking (S)HELL

If you want to sign the Stop Fracking With The Karoo petition, please click the  link and add your name!

Well much to my dismay I’ve just read that the self proclaimed music maestro of South Africa, Randall Abrahams is going to be a judge on the new show.

How sad is that?! I can only imagine how Seth Rotherham over at 2oceansvibe.com is going to react to this disturbing latest development,what with his well known public humiliation spat with Randall here.

Seth 7 – Randall 0

We had a chance to do something different on this show and we blew it.

Tonight is carrying this article:

From a frumpy 40-something Scotswoman and a 16-year-old street dancer to a Texas-born ventriloquist and an insurance-selling male opera singer, the British and US versions of the Got Talent? franchise have proved to be a true testament to the natural gifts of “the everyman”.

But while the likes of Susan Boyle may suddenly find themselves thrust into the full glare of the showbiz spotlight, it’s the men and women seated at the judges’ desk who are ultimately responsible for a reality show’s make or break factor. So much so, the folks affording contestants the yay or nay verdict have been known to become celebrities in their own right.

Just ask Simon Cowell.

Thanks to his cutting (and often controversial) criticisms of contenders on American Idol and The X-Factor over the years, he of the man-boobs is now a recognised name the world over. Would that Cowell’s South African counterpart, Randall Abrahams, could someday find himself in a similar position.

Having only recently vacated his adjudicator’s seat on Idols V, we can exclusively reveal that Abrahams (with Ian von Memerty and Shado Twala) is again poised to offer up his trademark dead-pan expression as a judge on SA’s Got Talent.

You can read the rest of the article here.

Love the manboobs chirp. Nice!

The rest of the judges are pretty cool I guess. It’s nice that Anele Mdoda is compering, she has a sharp wit. Can’t say I know too much about the rest.

The UK took it upon themselves to show us the grace and beauty of Amanda Holden week in and week out.

We choose Randall.

Can’t say Im enjoying that vibe. Let’s Recap… and little liked judge, no eye candy, lack of wit… hmmm this is sure to be a winner! I hope I’m wrong!

Oh wait  I just remembered I only do DSTV, cos thats the way I like to roll.

She wore a huge polka dot bikini

iafrica reports:

It’s a guaranteed way for an aspiring movie starlet to win herself some free exposure, parading semi-nude at Cannes, but attention seekers now have to be sure to at least keep their knickers on. The French resort, home to the world’s most famous film festival, has issued a decree banning naturism on the Mediterranean seafront after wealthy yacht owners complained that acres of bare tanned flesh were lowering the tone.

Municipal spokesman Iris Perben told AFP that the council had reissued an order reminding sun-worshippers that nudity is banned on all Cannes beaches, except those on the island of Sainte Marguerite.

“I’ve nothing against naturists, but setting up here, where everyone has to see, is indecent,” Cannes Yacht Club commodore Jean-Claude Montesinos told the local newspaper, Nice-Matin, saying there are sailing schools in the area.

“When the kids go out on the club house terrace to judge the wind the first thing they see is a row of bare arses.”

Perben said town police will be empowered to fine nude sunbathers €11 for a first offence, with the threat of anything up to €15 000 and a jail stretch for persistent exhibitionists.

Can’t say that works for me hey! How about passing a decree that only slim people can hang out. That’ll show far less flesh. They should have a Megan Fox shaped cut out you can try get through to go to the beach.

One of the things I really enjoy about the place I live is how that have catered for nature. We have a green belt behind our complex which is teeming with wildlife. Shit I even have a Falcon who perches on my windowbsill most days, eyeing out the field mice (and crapping all the way down the newly painted wall, much to the delight of the painting contractor). Also lately there has been family of wild cats living off the land behind our spot.

Cats are pretty cool, I mean how cool is this cat? (Thanks Amy)

I'll have a decaf skinny latte with foam and make it snappy mofo! This is my spot sort it out.

So you can imagine my dismay when I found this in my letter box.

Cat Psychos working the system

It’s a letter from some somewhat aggressive cat junkies on my Estate. Unbelievably these people are having serious issues about a non event. You see I actually know some of the people involved, and this letter is written by two people who’s ‘cats can do no wrong’. That means that a) Their cats shit doesnt stink, b) their pissing on the neighbours front step is a condoned practise and c) they have nothing to do with the army of stray cats we now have living in the green belt behind our complex.

All this in a ‘No Pets Allowed’ complex.

Heres a transcript.

Cat owner? Fed up with the intimidation and threats? Worried for your cat?

Let’s get together for Coffee and a chat and see how we can unite and protect our beloved furbabies against the psycho on this estate who is threatening to ‘take care’ of our cats. Unlike this psycho who will not leave his/her name, we are not cowards. There are four of us already.

Suzanne and Hilary at (number deleted) Please call. You will be glad you did.

Wow! Thats just plain disturbing! The worst thing is that there are four of them already!

These are the days of our lives.

Out here on the frontier we can say what we feel, and I feel that it’s bullshit that that we have to be subjected to the claims they spout out of their arse about their logo that is visible from space being the first of it’s kind. This while they still dont acknowledge an entire continent.

Yip you read that bit correctly.

Not only do they not really believe Africa exists as I posted about here [and here and most especially here], they find it neccessary to create a logo that is visible from space. This completely defeats any kind of object for me, seeing as a) we have yet to find any sort of chicken eating life from above, and b) astronauts being on strict diets which almost certainly precludes any form of deep fat fried chicken.

They consider it necessary to spend fuck knows how much money erecting a sign consisting of 65,000 1-foot-square tiles laid out in the Mojave desert. Now this is really cool and all of that, but how about spending a shit load less money and put a link to Africa on your crappy shite music enabled website?

To refresh your memory here it is…

Where the fuck is Africa?

Yes my darling little chicken peeps, when you go to KFC.com and select their ‘Global operations’ option hidden waaaaaaay down on the bottom somewhere, this is what you see. Maybe this has something to do with Americans absolutely shocking knowledge of our planet. Fuck maybe they were advertising at African’s when they built this… we all know how little they know about where Africa is, maybe they think we can see shit from space.

Getting a head in the Mojave Desert

Complete and utter fucken waste of time and money

Now you can go through to KFC.com and see exactly what I mean, if you can get past the godawful music that only some redneck in the USA musta ‘thunk up’. You’ll have to look for the KFC global link at the bottom, whilst being driven mad by the awful soundtrack. Luckily you can turn the shit off, like I did as you can see from the screengrabs below. You also have to navigate past the keepers of the gate into kitsch…

I wouldn't do that, your'e starting to look like a bunch of tits.

I dare you to follow that link.

Incidentally try do so alone with no work mates or small children in the room. This has to be one of the most disturbing websites I’ve seen in many a year.

In fact that stupid jingle gives me nightmares.

Now the point of this whole story is actually pretty simple. They were in fact NOT the first people to logo the fuck out of some poor desert paradise. That pleasure belongs to Readymix in Australia, mini America if you will. This logo has been visible from ‘up there’ for quite some time. It’s 3.2km across, and 1.6km high – and it’s been there since 1965.

And the point is?

The whole world 1 – KFC 0.

Now I would direct this tirade at someone here in South Africa, however, as mentioned before, they don’t have a website, so I cannot find anyone to direct it to.

My 75 year old mother has a website.

You’ll know by now that I find it mind blowing that KFC don’t cater for Africa on their International website. I wrote all about it [here and here] and I still think it’s ridiculous. According to KFC, this is what the world looks like…

Theres something not quite right about this hmmmm what could it be?

Weeks later and a new KFC ‘problem’ has raised its ugly head. You see, for some reason, KFC seems to think it’s cool to wipe your hands on a childs head. Now to me this would possibly constitute some form of child abuse, I mean I know I’m not the target demographic for this ad, but seriously, wiping your hands on a kid’s head?

That’s just really not cool.

Here is the advert.

Incidentally a Mr HT Frans saw this advert and instead of saying “Geez they can’t do that to a kid”, he thought the next most obvious thing.

This advert promotes the spread of cholera.

Not the common cold mind you, not even hepatitis.

No, Cholera.

Obviously.

A Kentucky Fried Chicken television ad showing men wiping their greasy fingers on a boy’s head has been cleared of the charge that it could promote the spread of cholera.

In a ruling handed down this week, the Advertising Standards Authority also decided that the wiping was not a form of child abuse.

A Mr HT Frans had complained that the men were transferring their germs to the boy, counter to department of health ads encouraging people to wash their hands to avoid spreading cholera.

“There is no evidence before the directorate that the actions depicted in the commercial could cause cholera infection as alleged by the complainant,” the ASA said.

It said KFC’s attorneys had submitted that it was an African tradition for elders to wipe their hands on the heads of youngsters after a meal in the belief that this would endow the youngsters with future wealth.

The ASA said it was satisfied that the commercial did not contain anything which might result in children being harmed mentally, morally, physically or emotionally.

That’s enough to make me wanna give KFC a miss. Now one thing that disturbs me, is the African tradition of wiping ones hand on a childs head to endow the kid with future wealth.

Umm what?

Thats just sick man. What if youre chowing  a double garlic chessy blue cheese and liver pizza, or some shit like that? The poor kid is gonna walk around smelling like a ball, and you know what kinda ball I’m talking about.

Sounds to me like this tradition was started due to some folks not wanting to get up to go fetch a dishcloth.

By the way in case you were wondering, I would never eat a pizza like that, kids or no kids. I think the kids should maybe resort to wearing CAPSAC (here ya go) that might sort it out. They can have napkins in CAPSAC. That ought to do it.

Now where did I park my car?

Oh here it is…

You should really not do this, you look like a chop

Basically we are looking at shite weather all weekend with a smaller reprieve come Tuesday.

But , just when you thought you were having a crappy day, spare a thought for this dude… He was just doing his job when the TV Gods said, hey let’s add a big KNOB in there shall we?!

That”ll be a laugh.

The wind will be a pomping South Westerly

Thanks for coming!

Aaaah I miss those lazy summer days at Doodles already. Seeing as I only just got my wordpress to allow me to post pics and add links again (thanks NO-ONE I figured it out all on my lonesome, three days and one notification of non crediting here going down, sorry Joy!!) I can now finally upload some of my other pics I took over the last few weeks, the last vestiges of a summer spent in… spent in… well just spent.

I managed to snap this picture just before summer fucked off the the season, that’s the Sun saying good seeya next year mofo…

The Sky Above Doodles, super pissed off at the impending shocking weather

Im getting quite good at this picture taking malarkey, never mind the fact you have to be a 60 word a minute typer to get your picture settings all set up before you can take a shot with a Samsung Omnia. ooohhh I was totally oversold there by that chick at the Vodacom shop in Canal Walk. The fact that I have no patience had nothing to do with it, honest.

Talking of patience does anyone know what this means?

Right of way to people with sore backs please, obviously!

It means lots of dead tourists come the Soccer World Cup 2010. I live down the road from a number of circles in Big Bay and they all have these signs, yet no-one stops. I hate to think what Joe Tourist is gonna be met with when attempting to use one of these in Cape Town.

I’m thinking CY and bullbars motherfucker.

So we have a new INTERNET sensation, Clare Werbeloff, famed for her eyewitness account of a Kings Cross shooting in Austrailia. Faced with the massive fall out of her racist account, she has ‘admitted’ she fabricated the story.

Yes love sure you did. If you havent seen the video yet, here it is…

In an interview with Channel 9 in the moments following the incident, Ms Werbeloff gave a dramatic account of the shooting.

The footage was posted on YouTube and went global last week, attracting more than 200,000 hits.

“There were these two wogs fighting,” Ms Werbeloff told Channel 9.

“The fatter wog said to the skinnier wog, ‘Oi bro, you slept with my cousin’. And the other one said, ‘Nah man, I didn’t for shit, eh’, and the other one goes, ‘I will call on my fully sick boys, eh’. And then pulled out a gun and went ‘chk-chk boom’.”

She now has an agent, Adam Abrams, thanks to her Youtube fame. He had this to say.

“She made it up,” he said.

“She saw the camera, ran over to it and told this story.”

Mr Abrams said Ms Werbeloff had gone into hiding due to the amount of attention her “interview” generated. She has also signed with Channel 9′s A Current Affair and is likely to appear tomorrow night – but Mr Abrams denied she has been paid for the interview.

“She wanted to get the truth out there after the police contacted her about being a witness,” Mr Abrams said.

As of yesterday, Ms Werbeloff’s false account had been viewed by more than 200,000 people on YouTube. That figure is sure to rise now she has been remixed and even has her very own Keyboard Cat Video… here it is, gotta LOVE Keyboard cat, he is just so cool…

But Justin Kallu, the 27-year-old victim of the shooting, said he was upset by the attention Ms Werbeloff was receiving.

“I’m just a bit upset about the fact that I’ve been shot and that I almost lost my life and there’s this girl all over the news getting popular all because she has no brains,” Mr Kallu said.

This from a man involved in being shot outside a tattoo parlour. Classy stuff there mate.

There have even been suggestions it was a beer advert set up, as she is standing in front of a beer advert. That’s just ridiculous. The cameraman who took the footage had this to say.

“I think she came up to me and then I said, ‘Do you know what happened?’ and she said ‘Yes’ and she just spontaneously came up with what you saw on the vision there,” Dulson told Nine MSN.

“I think she was a young girl that had had a few drinks. It wasn’t a beat-up. She didn’t stand there (in front of the beer ad) specifically. I framed it so that the police car was in the back (of the shot).”

Last but not least, the REMIX, B b b b b bREak it down!

You need to ask yourself, what would George Michael do?

George Michael would choose life

As you’re most probably aware all of this was over recent comments Helen Zille made regarding Jacob Zuma, HIV / AIDS and peoples behaviour in that regard.

SO I thought I’d check out the ANC Youth League website to see exactly what their policy on HIV / AIDS  is.

This is it.

Such a lot to say...

The entire page is in fact, empty. Now there’s a surprise.

This goes a long way to explaining the incoherrent mutterings coming from the crew at ANC YL.

Oh you can also download music (hopefully legal) and organise a DJ from the site. Multitasking to the MAX.

So here I was sitting thinking my good God this day is going to get out of control, what with my escapades Doodleside (that’s Tuesday night happy hour at Doodles Beachfront with Francois of Bands4Africa playing legendary music) when I logged onto www.slxs.co.za, one of my favourite Cape Town websites, to find THIS…

No under 'NO" Allowed

Oh my word I have a stitch.

So they quite cleverly tried to add TWO questions in one here. Very very sneaky Mr ANC Youth League website designer dude. I think perhaps the superiorly intellectual ANC Youth League Spokesman Floyd Shivambu may have had a hand in this. Remember his little ‘sleeping around is sleeping around’ rant here?

I’d be thrilled senseless to hear his take on this!

You’ll notice they have no advertisers. I wonder why not? Except themselves of course. It looks like all the dudes on the T shirts below are having a FAT party.

Incidently they don’t seem to think there are voters OVER 40.

This smacks of just saying something for the sakes of saying it, but hey I guess that’s their policy.

At the time of writing this was still live on their website. Keep your finger on the pulse boys.

Well I recently went down to the new KFC at Eden on the Bay in Big Bay, just a stones throw away from where I live. I was excited as I like KFC, and when I got there i saw a brand spanking new shiny store. The lady at the till was extremely pleasant and we  had a chat about ‘bling bling’… (I was wearing my Kangol Bling Bling Party T shirt). So I was super excited to buy my ICL Twenty20 World Cup Box Meal. Hell I even chatted to my ex girlfriend while I waited for it to arrive.

Life was grand.

The storm had not yet hit, summer was still here, birds were singing in the trees, children were laughing and dogs were playing. Well at least I think they were playing.

My burger arrived, nice and environmentally friendly like in its brown paper bag.

I was expecting it to look like what I ordered, which was this…

Fillet Rounder with hash brown, Sans Tomato

Instead, when I got home and opened the thing, I got this.

Rounder Mini-me

Ok I already ate the hash brown, but still this was a disappointment. I only wish I had gotten a better picture but my super kak Samsung Omnia Camera irritates me at the best of times. Which is sad cos I was sooo keen to get it once upon a long time ago.

So granted its probably not the worst thing you’ve seen, but this burger doesnt look anything like it should. You know I really hate that they added tomatoes to the mix, and then started using less sauce. We are not stupid Colonel Sanders. We know that tomatoes are cheaper than one extra squirt of sauce.It was dry, small, and had hardly any batter on it.

The children, birds and dogs had all gone silent.

So I mosey’d on over to www.kfc.co.za to check out what a burger should look like. The website didn’t exist. Neither did www.kentuckyfriedchicken.co.za. Fuck I even tried www.canluckyfuckchicken.co.za.

Nothing.

I got to the INTERNATIONAL SITE. I got past the horrific music and tried to find a picture of what I was supposed to have eaten.

Nothing.

EVENTUALLY I found a link to KFC Global, which was tucked away under a winglet at the base of the page. I clucked… err clicked it, and this popped up.

No space for Africa in KFC's world vision

That’s nice.

They don’t find it neccessary to have KFC AFRICA. I mean it’s AFRICA for fucks sake. There must be a hundred million people on this continent who flippen LOVE KFC. The CEO of KFC is from South Africa goddamit. (by way of Australia with a super kak aussie accent thing going down)

This is poor form.

So in protest, even though I was flippen BURNING to have have KFC after writing this, I instead went to Pick ‘n Pay, where I got my very own ingredients to make my OWN food.

All told my shopping spree only cost me R592 and I still have to make the food. That’ll’learn’ you KFC!!!!

This is exactly what social media is about, and I ALWAYS promote the public voicing their opinion. Good on you Seth.

I haven’t been to the store in question but I can imagine the total apathy, we see it everywhere.

I decided to check out this ‘core group’ so I went onto their website and the VERY FIRST thing I saw was the article posted on the front page. It starts with…

“AN FRANCISCO—January 6, 2009—Apple® today introduced iLife® ’09…”

They can’t even get the FIRST word on their website spelt correctly…

The tone has been set.