Socialyz.com

You know Danny MacAskill right? He is that dude with the insane bicycle skills that makes us all feel like we need to spend the next few days running in the gym just to get a semblance of his skill and balance in our lives. Well guess what? He has recently graced the Fariest Cape with his skills and it’s all on Video. Check it out, talk about some insane moves.

Danny MacAskill Plays Capetown, Part 1 from leica camera on Vimeo.

And here is part two…

Danny MacAskill Plays capetown, Part 2 from leica camera on Vimeo.

You know how it feels when you go to the gym and have a 5km run? Maybe knocking out a few km’s on the exercise bikes and some time on the rowing machine? Tiring enough in a 1 hour gym session. You just want to get home and chill for a bit, feeling pretty good about your efforts.

Well, meet Ray Chaplin.  He thinks you’re soft! (more…)

Irish band U2’s current 360 world tour is the most successful ever

This tour has beat the record set by The Rolling Stones four years ago, promoters Live Nation Entertainment said on Monday.

According to Live Nation, the Irish supergroup will gross ticket sales of more than $700 million when their 360 tour finally wraps up in Canada in July.

The U2 360 tour, in a round stage format in a transportable stadium, will have been seen by more than seven million people in 30 countries when it ends.

The Rolling Stones 2005-07 Bigger Bang Tour took $554 million in ticket sales.

Now I’ve seen it all! This chick is nuts man! She wanted a horse, couldn’t get one so she is now treating her cow as a horse??? She even taught it to jump. That’s fucked up man!

In what can only be described as an incredible piece of furtune for this lucky dog, it was spotted on a floating island of debris three weeks after the devastating Japanese Tsunami.

It not only survived the Tsunami but also the three weeks on it’s makeshift island, most probably surviving on pools of rain water collecting in nooks and crannies on the floating debris pile.

Last week a video did the rounds featuring an Australian victim of bullying body slamming his much skinnier bully into the concrete.
In case you missed it here is the original video as doing the rounds on Youtube.

After being suspended from school because of the incident, our hero, Casey Heynes has now had his say on the events which led to that fateful body slam.

With everything that’s going on right now in the universe, it was only a matter of time until we got a Charlie Sheen cooking program…

This is exactly what I have been waiting for. You know I like my mash – ups, shit like the Carl Sagan remix and all of that?

Well it’s Charlie Sheen time! This one, done by The Gregory Brothers,  is a ripper, enjoy!

In even stranger scenes than what has been going on recently, Charlie Sheen pulled a Panga (machete for you non South Africans) out and started waving it around when being filmed by the media after being sacked from Two and a Half Men.

I had a panga too when I was a kid, but that’s another story.

What kind!

…Rubbing your finger in a very strange manner!

So, last night my man and I went down to our local. We are regulars at Doodles and everytime we go,  my Jelly bear comes up with some random way to make me laugh… This one took the cake.

I can’t remember ever getting an itchy finger, (no gutter brain don’t go there ) so i’m not sure if this is normal. You tell me!??

Here we can see Joe Social scratching his finger… wait for it… on his chin??? and then what would look like him rubbing his cheek, is actually him scratching his finger on the side of his face ( I almost made a crude joke about fingering and faces..work it out) …

God bless men who have stubble to get rid if those nasty finger itches and God bless my Blackberry for capturing moments such as these!

Remember I posted about my mate Kayden’s epic round the world bicycle tour and tree planting campaign here?

Well I thought I’d fill you guys in on the whole thing that he is doing and what better way to do it than by showing you the ‘trailer’?

This takes guts and makes me feel extraordinarily small for only being able to talk about it, but hey like I try tell myself, I’m talking about it right? Way to go Kayden and best of luck for the remainder of your journey team ‘Global Wheeling’ (more…)

After all the buzz created by the Nick Jacobsen crane jump off the Seli 1 wreck with his kitesurf kit, the guys from Access Kiteboard Magazine decided to do a Stand Up Paddle to the scene of the crime to try see how he did it and get some answers…

My guess? He kited up the pole…

Nick Jacobsen Crane Jump Investigated from Stefan van der Kamp on Vimeo.

I live on the West Coast and this place gets inundated with Kitesurfers.

Mostly I see them down at my local pub Doodles, causing kak and creating general mayhem. They’re not too well behaved either…

Recently this ship ran aground and we have all been wondering what to do about the wreck of the Seli 1. Well one of these kitesurfer dudes clearly saw it as more than scrap metal or an artificial reef.

He thought, hell lets jump off this thing! I gotta tell you its a wee bit irresponsible, what with kitesurfers reguarly pegging ’round these parts flying into buildings and shit… The biggest respect must go to how he launched his kite while up there!

Anyway here’s the vid of crazy Nick Jacobsen jumping off the Seli 1…

Crane Jump from kitecentre Zanzibar on Vimeo.

In an absolutely pointless exercise a 10 second teaser clip has been released for the latest issue fueled Twilight movie, Eclipse.

Dunno if I can handle this, it’s pure teen angst love mixed with Vampire and Werewolf…. what’s next?? Bring on the Zombies!!!! I’d fucken love it if Bella suddenly pulled a ‘Thriller’ move on our asses, haha that would get me interested!

Enjoy… or not.

Ok Now I’ve heard it all.

Jedi Religion Founder Morda Hehol (real name Daniel Jones from Wales) was recently refused his religious right to cover his head at his local tesco.

Morda 'He Hole' with Dildo, taking one for the team.

The Guardian newspaper reports:

Tesco has been accused of religious discrimination after the company ordered the founder of a Jedi religion to remove his hood or leave a branch of the supermarket in north Wales.

Daniel Jones, founder of the religion inspired by the Star Wars films, says he was humiliated and victimised for his beliefs following the incident at a Tesco store in Bangor.

The 23-year-old, who founded the International Church of Jediism, which has 500,000 followers worldwide, was told the hood flouted store rules.

But the grocery empire struck back, claiming that the three best known Jedi Knights in the Star Wars movies – Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker – all appeared in public without their hoods. Jones, from Holyhead, who is known by the Jedi name Morda Hehol, said his religion dictated that he should wear the hood in public places and is considering legal action against the chain.

“It states in our Jedi doctrination that I can wear headwear. It just covers the back of my head,” he said.

You can read the rest of the article here.

A couple of things struck me about this. Firstly, surely the oke can wear a cap indoors right? So why can’t he wear his hoodie? Maybe he should get a Billabong logo on the thing and it’ll all be cool?! I reckon they just didn’t take him seriously cos he was carrying his dildo with him.

Secondly, why did it take a 23 year old to start the religion? I mean its OBVIOUS! This guy now commands a church of half a million people! I’m sure this little PR event will swell those numbers.

Now I have no problem with people worshipping whatever the fuck it is they wanna worship so don’t judge me. I’m all for the light side of the road force. I have a good chuckle at some of the reponses on the Gaurdian website comment section.

Enjoy.

Definately don’t try this one at home…

The other day my mate Tamryn and I were sitting having Doodles Sundowners, with our regular REALLY crap view and awful lifestyle, when she snapped some cool pics. So I thought I’d post them now seeing as we are in the grips of the first winter cold front of Doom and this place certainly isn’t feeling like paradise today. It normally is, I promise.

The way I feel has absolutely nothing to do with Phil the Thrills 3.4 birthday party last night which ended up at my mates club at the Old Biscuit Mill, decoDance.

Incidentally people there are like a hundred million roadblocks out there so be reponsible and work with the authorities on this one. Don’t be a chop about it basically.

Anyway… I digress… where where we? Oh yes, we were here…

What a Shite view

Click the image for a larger version. I was only kidding, seriously, it’s not that shite. What was REALLY KAK was when there was a Jacob Zuma picture adorning the lamp post that Tamryn very cleverly did not get into her picture. Something I can’t do.

‘Cos I have a piece of shit camera.. and I NEVER blame my tools.

So we looked over a little and this jumped out at us.

Sunset over Robben Island

Click to go big.

Anyway there are tons of these vendor dudes that show off their wares along the strip and this guy was a most undustrious dude. Not only did he make a flippen massive wire motorbike, he also CHARGED for the picture, before telling us his dream was to make a wire Mandela in the Waterfront. So my obvious first thought was… ummm youre making wire motorbikes at the Blouberg Beachfront, what exactly is stopping you from making wire Mandelas at the Waterfront?

Nice Bike

I think these guys are well versed in what to say to ellicit that extra buck. Incidentally brutha maaaan, while talking about extra bucks and all that, what’s under the hat? This doesn’t take away from the fact they are obviously super talented.

Then, and in final reference to my all time favourite music video (for now that is) we spotted these birds trying to get on the boat.

Birds and a Boat

Not just any boat mind you, THE boat. The one from the video… which is just out of shot… promise [video here]

Wow well this is a first. Im not getting this. Maybe for drug reinforement? What does reinforcement actually MEAN? I tried to find out but I got lost and couldn’t find anything worthwhile explaining it. If any of you know then let me know then I’ll let everyone else know (including the guys who work in ‘reinforecment’). Thanks.

So getting back to this story. They go through ALL this trouble, then tell you, DON’T WORRY you’ll be fine you couldn’t get even one dosage through the air in 1000 years. Phew thank God for that.

So this must be a boon for drug ‘reinforcers’ in that they can now ‘sniff’ out (sorry had to do that) the bad guys. In the AYER, ay ay ay ayer!

Respect. Now haven’t you got anything better to do?

Madrid – Spanish scientists have detected the presence of cocaine in the air of Madrid and Barcelona by using a new technique for the first time, a research institute said on Wednesday.

The scientists looked for 17 components in five different types of illegal drugs – cocaine, amphetamines, opiates, cannabinoids and lysergic acid.

The results revealed cocaine is the predominant drug in the air of the two cities, the CSIC institute said.

It was found in concentrations of 29 to 850 picograms per cubic metre of air. A picograms is one trillionth of a gram.

The study is the result of the first use of a new method for the detection of drugs in the air, adapted specifically for the researchers, who are to publish their results in the review “Analytical Chemistry”.

“Heroin was also found in detectable levels in the samples taken in Madrid, but not in those from Barcelona,” the CSIC said.

This it explained by the fact that the area of Madrid where the sample was taken is close to a district where drug dealers are suspected of operating.

The scientists also reported a higher concentration of the components during the weekend, “suggesting higher consumption this time”.

But it said there was no reason for the public to be concerned.

“Even if we lived 1 000 years we would not consume the equivalent of a dose of cocaine through the air,” said one of the scientists, Miren Lopez de Alda.

Oh talking of cocaine, hows this?

Caution. If you do this isnort thingy, you may look like a total tool, like this oke. Maybe funny noises and shit.

There’s a new something that is really taking off in the netosphere (I made that up)

If you haven’t already seen the Andy Samberg / The Lonely Island song “Jizz in my pants” video then you really have been under a rock! This parody is now being redone over and over again until everyone is Jizzing in their pants…

First the girls got in on the act by puking in their mouths…

Then it was commercialised for the sale of ms.taken.com rings…

Then Harry Potter got in on the act…

Not to be outdone by The Joker…

…Edward Cullen in Twilight…

and AGAIN!!

Then Bella Swan Gets down with it…

And last but not least, it has now crossed over in classical music with this amazing super talented rendition on the piano…

Clean up on aisle THREE, gotta love it.

Hectic how’s this? I guess you gotta be in it to win it. Now the problem is I personally KNOW someone who won the South African Lottery a few years back, so the law of averages (damn you LOA damn you!!!!!!) means there is slim to fuckall chance of me ever winning any kind of lotto.

…and she didn’t give me a red cent! Sheeesh!!!

Paris – A Spaniard late on Friday won the record jackpot of €126,231,764 in the Euro Millions lottery, smashing the record held for nearly four years by an Irish woman.

The as yet unnamed player, who could if he wanted buy two Airbus A-320 jets, was the only one to tick the five correct numbers (4, 23, 24, 29, 31) and two stars (8, 9) and win the huge jackpot drawn in Paris.

The previous record in the lottery, run by nine European countries, had been held since July 2005 by Dolores McNamara of Gallyowen near Limerick in southwest Ireland who took home €115,436,126 .

Friday’s winner beat odds of 76 million to one to win the equivalent of four years’ salary by David Beckham, the world’s best paid footballer.

Euro Millions, which recently celebrated its fifth anniversary, brings together France, the United Kingdom, Ireland, Spain, Portugal, Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg and Austria.